Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
