Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
