A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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