you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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