oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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