I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So much Jack, so little girl.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
