but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
