The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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