I just pynch a tree in the face
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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