they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
