somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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