i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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