I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
