I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
