My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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