are you so shy because you have an std?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
