Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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