I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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