Kiss
Puke
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
