I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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