I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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