K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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