There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
