Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Swine flu is the new snow day.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize