I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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