im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
