Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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