She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
