So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
