Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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