You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
