I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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