when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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