we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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