You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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