Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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