Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
