Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize