..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
