Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
