Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
