Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need water and some morals
We need to feng shui this bitch.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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