kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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