She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
