I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
