Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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