2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
