i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
