She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
