I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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