Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had to cum in my sink.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
