wat bout pragnant strippers??
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
