fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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