Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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