so that wasnt chicken after all
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
