when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
