haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
